MORB 2

'I’ve buried all the scissors in the house under the patio and I advise you to do the same.'

In order to evolve does something have to get bigger or can it become more secret, hide in darker places? Must it build up its’ resistance to old plagues and diseases or decide to become even sicker? There are a group of people who know.

'Please sir, can I have some Morb? Morb provides an outlet for those who would rather not be served cinematic experiences like slops of porridge.'

January 12th begat Morb 2.




The second round of attendees met in a bar on our busy, well lit main street, by now they knew the rules. Secret location, secret film, no phones, no backing out. Be there on time or be left behind. After the greetings and pleasantries the little parade set off in high spirits. The giggling subsided when a sudden turn led them out of the light and into a long dark silent alley, almost a different world, the only illumination - a bulb over a door in the distance.

'Hey, I had a great time and after an extensive interview with questions only he could answer, I eventually opened the front door to my brother.'




The group made their way up a flight of stairs into a room like a secret attic, with sloping ceilings and rain pattering on windows. The wonderful Erin Michelle lay in wait, watching in the darkness, fingers on the controls. Nervously excited people hurriedly took their chairs and benches, arranged around the one source of light – the screen. The pristine white screen on to which the projector flashed up gouts of blood and body matter.

'A superb location added to the suspense and experience, I was already on edge as the movie was starting. Great choice, I'd never heard of it but I don't think I'll forget it anytime soon. Not for the faint hearted or light headed, the film was brimming with everything a good horror thriller could have, and then some. I agree with our host, you could watch the movie in people's expressions and reactions of which there were many.
Roll on number three, thanks a million, you're doing more than just showing films, I'm loving it.'




Half the fun of being the Morb host is looking away from the screen at the worst moments to the faces of the viewers, lit up by the carnage. There are slight moments of guilt.
As only I know what the film will be in advance, in a way you are subjecting people to something they wouldn’t necessarily be comfortable with or are unused to. Could this scar them in any way?

'I was up all night with stomach cramps – I’m blaming you and your torture porn.'

'My own reflection in a window just caused a minor cardiac event.'

'I just nearly shit myself cause I saw my own shadow in my kitchen. Thanks.'

No, I don’t think so. Even if so, consider this a vaccine for Morb 3. What did the needle contain?




'Not looking forward to going to sleep tonight after another sitting of Peter Dunne's Morb. French film called 'Inside', not for the fainthearted.'

Morb 3 will continue to walk down this dark little path through the trees, around the blind corners. What will be waiting? We’ll see when we get there.

It will not be a large event, after all, the best things happen in secret. If people are brave and hearty and interested, they know who to contact.

'Wonder is there any chance of getting him to go on a 'sick fuck' diet for the next Morb.'




PUTRID DUNNE

Films Of 2010

It's been a pretty ghastly year for film. In Ireland we've yet to see dreamy gems like Rabbit Hole or Black Swan but have been subject to such cinematic abortions as A Nightmare On Elm Street, gilded turds such as Alice In Wonderland, neon heaps of illuminous shite such as Tron, soul breaking disappointments such as Wolf Man and over-hyped studio money machines such as Inception and Social Network, which weren't particularly bad films but CALM DOWN everybody.

Most times leaving the cinema I've had a sour puss on my face but there have been a few beauts, like those that almost scraped the list, such as A Prophet, I Am Love, Crazy Heart and Despicable Me; not perfect but entertaining.

Filtering the sludge out, here are my top ten of 2010.

10 The Kids Are Alright




This film just about scrapes in because of the amazing Annette Bening. She is heartbreakingly good, especially in the dinner party scene where she begins to figure everything out. What lets it down is the uber annoying Mia Wasikowska, who was DYING for a kick up the hole for most of the movie. I also didn't like the way the film presents what is supposedly a well adjusted family with gay parents and then shows just how easily it can be torn apart, proving the point of those anti-gay naysayers under the pretense of being pro. But still, Annette Bening - nuff said.

9 Please Give




A little diamond that slipped under most people's radar. Exceptionally well written and well performed by the entire cast. If this had been directed by someone like Spielberg, Ann Morgan Guilbert who played the grandmother, would be up for an Oscar.

8 Shutter Island




Fuck Inception, THIS is how people dream. The mixed up, overlapping, intoxicating things Di Caprio sees in his sleep are the work of a genius. Who dreams of fully functioning office blocks and perfectly laid out streets? Drab Christopher Nolan it seems. Maybe the twist was painfully obvious about 2 minutes in but what a star studded, swirling journey.

7 I Love You Phillip Morris




The bravest film of the year. Never have I seen a mainstream film that didn't shy away from showing a true albeit twisted gay relationship. Jim Carrey was astounding and Ewan McGregor convincingly loveable. Better than that though is the fact the film is genuinely funny, the evolution of the joke Carrey tells as it passes from person to person is CLEVER. Why should this film be celebrated? Why is it such a big step? Take a look at the message boards on IMDB and take a look at the dreadful box office in the states and see how far the gay rights movement has come in some quarters. Props from me to the folk involved as they won't get many.

6 Piranha




Gas craic. The most fun I had in the cinema all year. Puerile, juvenile, terribly written but that's the point. It's a total throwback to 80s gore fests and it works. You haven't seen anything until you've seen a CGI fish spit out a severed penis IN 3D! 'Ass to the glass' became the catchphrase of the month.

5 Ghost Writer



Complete return to form from Polanski. With this film you can feel it's the man who directed Rosemary's Baby and Chinatown behind it. A slow burning, insidiously creeping nightmare. The cast all play blinders and the invisible directing worked a wonder.

4 Let Me In




This might be the most controversial choice on the list, even more so when I say I vastly preferred it to the original. With the Danish version, I knew there was something original and fresh and subversive going on but always felt it wasn't quite there. Something was missing. I was disappointed. Even though at times this is a shot for shot remake, this time round it filled the cracks. The father/daughter relationship is better thought out, better performed. The reasoning behind the vampire's seduction of the little boy is far more disturbing and creepy. It jettisoned the infamous 'cat scene' and the group of drunks and replaced it with a far more satisfying 'Rear Window' style attack of the neighbours. It has that AMAZING car crash viewed from the back seat and the clever 'Snoopy' way of never showing the adults faces, making Owen's loneliness more tangible. Most of all though, the children are superb, especially Kodi Smit McPhee, far far better than Kare Hedebrant who I thought was a slightly wooden original protagonist.

3 Winters Bone



Watching this at a pre-release press screening weeks before the hype began it really felt like being witness to the birth of something special. Disturbing, creepy and convincing, original and brave, the film is a wow. The actors are true and real. See it.

2 Toy Story 3




What can be said about Toy Story that hasn't been said? The film is a wonder. It totally needs to be Best Film above things like Inception or Social Network. The non stop parade of ideas, the heart, the sheer joy and wonder it inspires can't be surpassed. As for Big Baby, my personal favourite character, he/she is the cleverest combination of heartbreaking and frightening and hilarious. It's a rarity, a blockbuster that completely deserves the success and hype.

1 Another Year




This wasn't hard. I forgot I was watching a film and really felt like I was in someone's house watching their lives. Afterwards, things about the film came back to me and made me think of it in another light, actually making me so angry with fictional characters, I was raging I couldn't phone them up and give them a piece of my mind. If there was any justice, which we all know there isn't, Mike Leigh would walk home with an Oscar, after hitting David Fincher over the head with it. Lesley Manville should be joining him, giving hands down the greatest performance to hit the screen in the last 5 years. Stunning.

There we are, a sucky year with some true gems, but 2011 seems to promise to be truly exciting so far. Fingers crossed we get some hot ballet psychosis and Nicole Kidman's newly moving forehead soon and they live up to the impossible, wet-the-bed expectation this particular weirdo has for them.



Bon voyage 2010!




PUTRID DUNNE