MORB 2

'I’ve buried all the scissors in the house under the patio and I advise you to do the same.'

In order to evolve does something have to get bigger or can it become more secret, hide in darker places? Must it build up its’ resistance to old plagues and diseases or decide to become even sicker? There are a group of people who know.

'Please sir, can I have some Morb? Morb provides an outlet for those who would rather not be served cinematic experiences like slops of porridge.'

January 12th begat Morb 2.




The second round of attendees met in a bar on our busy, well lit main street, by now they knew the rules. Secret location, secret film, no phones, no backing out. Be there on time or be left behind. After the greetings and pleasantries the little parade set off in high spirits. The giggling subsided when a sudden turn led them out of the light and into a long dark silent alley, almost a different world, the only illumination - a bulb over a door in the distance.

'Hey, I had a great time and after an extensive interview with questions only he could answer, I eventually opened the front door to my brother.'




The group made their way up a flight of stairs into a room like a secret attic, with sloping ceilings and rain pattering on windows. The wonderful Erin Michelle lay in wait, watching in the darkness, fingers on the controls. Nervously excited people hurriedly took their chairs and benches, arranged around the one source of light – the screen. The pristine white screen on to which the projector flashed up gouts of blood and body matter.

'A superb location added to the suspense and experience, I was already on edge as the movie was starting. Great choice, I'd never heard of it but I don't think I'll forget it anytime soon. Not for the faint hearted or light headed, the film was brimming with everything a good horror thriller could have, and then some. I agree with our host, you could watch the movie in people's expressions and reactions of which there were many.
Roll on number three, thanks a million, you're doing more than just showing films, I'm loving it.'




Half the fun of being the Morb host is looking away from the screen at the worst moments to the faces of the viewers, lit up by the carnage. There are slight moments of guilt.
As only I know what the film will be in advance, in a way you are subjecting people to something they wouldn’t necessarily be comfortable with or are unused to. Could this scar them in any way?

'I was up all night with stomach cramps – I’m blaming you and your torture porn.'

'My own reflection in a window just caused a minor cardiac event.'

'I just nearly shit myself cause I saw my own shadow in my kitchen. Thanks.'

No, I don’t think so. Even if so, consider this a vaccine for Morb 3. What did the needle contain?




'Not looking forward to going to sleep tonight after another sitting of Peter Dunne's Morb. French film called 'Inside', not for the fainthearted.'

Morb 3 will continue to walk down this dark little path through the trees, around the blind corners. What will be waiting? We’ll see when we get there.

It will not be a large event, after all, the best things happen in secret. If people are brave and hearty and interested, they know who to contact.

'Wonder is there any chance of getting him to go on a 'sick fuck' diet for the next Morb.'




PUTRID DUNNE

Films Of 2010

It's been a pretty ghastly year for film. In Ireland we've yet to see dreamy gems like Rabbit Hole or Black Swan but have been subject to such cinematic abortions as A Nightmare On Elm Street, gilded turds such as Alice In Wonderland, neon heaps of illuminous shite such as Tron, soul breaking disappointments such as Wolf Man and over-hyped studio money machines such as Inception and Social Network, which weren't particularly bad films but CALM DOWN everybody.

Most times leaving the cinema I've had a sour puss on my face but there have been a few beauts, like those that almost scraped the list, such as A Prophet, I Am Love, Crazy Heart and Despicable Me; not perfect but entertaining.

Filtering the sludge out, here are my top ten of 2010.

10 The Kids Are Alright




This film just about scrapes in because of the amazing Annette Bening. She is heartbreakingly good, especially in the dinner party scene where she begins to figure everything out. What lets it down is the uber annoying Mia Wasikowska, who was DYING for a kick up the hole for most of the movie. I also didn't like the way the film presents what is supposedly a well adjusted family with gay parents and then shows just how easily it can be torn apart, proving the point of those anti-gay naysayers under the pretense of being pro. But still, Annette Bening - nuff said.

9 Please Give




A little diamond that slipped under most people's radar. Exceptionally well written and well performed by the entire cast. If this had been directed by someone like Spielberg, Ann Morgan Guilbert who played the grandmother, would be up for an Oscar.

8 Shutter Island




Fuck Inception, THIS is how people dream. The mixed up, overlapping, intoxicating things Di Caprio sees in his sleep are the work of a genius. Who dreams of fully functioning office blocks and perfectly laid out streets? Drab Christopher Nolan it seems. Maybe the twist was painfully obvious about 2 minutes in but what a star studded, swirling journey.

7 I Love You Phillip Morris




The bravest film of the year. Never have I seen a mainstream film that didn't shy away from showing a true albeit twisted gay relationship. Jim Carrey was astounding and Ewan McGregor convincingly loveable. Better than that though is the fact the film is genuinely funny, the evolution of the joke Carrey tells as it passes from person to person is CLEVER. Why should this film be celebrated? Why is it such a big step? Take a look at the message boards on IMDB and take a look at the dreadful box office in the states and see how far the gay rights movement has come in some quarters. Props from me to the folk involved as they won't get many.

6 Piranha




Gas craic. The most fun I had in the cinema all year. Puerile, juvenile, terribly written but that's the point. It's a total throwback to 80s gore fests and it works. You haven't seen anything until you've seen a CGI fish spit out a severed penis IN 3D! 'Ass to the glass' became the catchphrase of the month.

5 Ghost Writer



Complete return to form from Polanski. With this film you can feel it's the man who directed Rosemary's Baby and Chinatown behind it. A slow burning, insidiously creeping nightmare. The cast all play blinders and the invisible directing worked a wonder.

4 Let Me In




This might be the most controversial choice on the list, even more so when I say I vastly preferred it to the original. With the Danish version, I knew there was something original and fresh and subversive going on but always felt it wasn't quite there. Something was missing. I was disappointed. Even though at times this is a shot for shot remake, this time round it filled the cracks. The father/daughter relationship is better thought out, better performed. The reasoning behind the vampire's seduction of the little boy is far more disturbing and creepy. It jettisoned the infamous 'cat scene' and the group of drunks and replaced it with a far more satisfying 'Rear Window' style attack of the neighbours. It has that AMAZING car crash viewed from the back seat and the clever 'Snoopy' way of never showing the adults faces, making Owen's loneliness more tangible. Most of all though, the children are superb, especially Kodi Smit McPhee, far far better than Kare Hedebrant who I thought was a slightly wooden original protagonist.

3 Winters Bone



Watching this at a pre-release press screening weeks before the hype began it really felt like being witness to the birth of something special. Disturbing, creepy and convincing, original and brave, the film is a wow. The actors are true and real. See it.

2 Toy Story 3




What can be said about Toy Story that hasn't been said? The film is a wonder. It totally needs to be Best Film above things like Inception or Social Network. The non stop parade of ideas, the heart, the sheer joy and wonder it inspires can't be surpassed. As for Big Baby, my personal favourite character, he/she is the cleverest combination of heartbreaking and frightening and hilarious. It's a rarity, a blockbuster that completely deserves the success and hype.

1 Another Year




This wasn't hard. I forgot I was watching a film and really felt like I was in someone's house watching their lives. Afterwards, things about the film came back to me and made me think of it in another light, actually making me so angry with fictional characters, I was raging I couldn't phone them up and give them a piece of my mind. If there was any justice, which we all know there isn't, Mike Leigh would walk home with an Oscar, after hitting David Fincher over the head with it. Lesley Manville should be joining him, giving hands down the greatest performance to hit the screen in the last 5 years. Stunning.

There we are, a sucky year with some true gems, but 2011 seems to promise to be truly exciting so far. Fingers crossed we get some hot ballet psychosis and Nicole Kidman's newly moving forehead soon and they live up to the impossible, wet-the-bed expectation this particular weirdo has for them.



Bon voyage 2010!




PUTRID DUNNE

MORB

'Dreamt we were stuck under ground and only you knew way out but we had to give a good film review otherwise we got thrown down a well by you! Terrifying.....happy bitch?'




What is Morb?

On Tuesday 23rd November, 20 people were given directions to meet in a bar before 8 in the evening, whereupon they were shuttled off to a secret location. No phones, no contact, no clue what was in store, they were lead into a completely dark building, the metal door bolted behind them and made to follow a pulsing blue light down deserted corridors.



'Mad experience, well done you. Congrats, I'm scarred'.

At the end of one of the corridors lay a sterile, cold room lit only by the light of a projector beaming a square of white light on the wall. People took their deliberately uncomfortable seats, nervously giggling and squirming.

And the film began.



'You done good.
Thanks for putting those creepy images into my brain forever.
It brought misogyny to a whole new level.
The location, atmosphere and mystery surrounding the adventure was all beyond top class. Thanks for all the lovely touches. A great treat on this Winter's night.
The film itself is relentless in its violence.'

What was the film? We'll get to that later.

'It was terrific, had weird dreams though'.

Morb is my antidote to anodyne, cool cinema. Taking its influence from the original Midnight Movies of the 1970s, such as El Topo and Pink Flamingoes, Morb asks what is today's Midnight Movie? We are so jaded what could possibly affect us? Morb attempts to provide the answer.

'Last night was an interesting experience to say the least which I thoroughly enjoyed. The setting for the film was SO eerie and the entry up to the projection room in the dark was excellent as it set the mood. The chairs may well have been the most uncomfortable I have ever sat on however this mirrored the chair in the movie which I felt was extremely clever of you..... you obviously did this on purpose....The movie was shocking but a real mind fuck, it's been ages since I had two very polarized opinions of the same film.'

To be totally overcome by the discomfort and fear of the experience and to add to the excitement, no one apart from myself knew what the film would be. With the help of the marvellous Claire Behan, who provided the suitable location and the requisite mood, it became a total immersion in the theme and outlook of the film.



'Watching a movie became more of an experience. Preceded with a meet and greet, quick trip to the secret location, rolling shutters, dark stairwells, led by torchlight, the perfect prelude to a truly engaging film.'

So what was the film? In an ironic way, the film almost became secondary to the experience as almost anything projected onto the wall would have been effective, but anyway -

'Underground cinema is making a comeback in our very own Dublin. Tonight Peter Dunne & Morb brought us a secret screening of the truly depraved 'Martyrs'. The very secret and very dark location guaranteed the atmosphere the film deserved.
I'm suggesting back-to-back 'Care-Bears' for Morb's next screening.'



Will Morb happen again? Oh yes, that was just a beginning with some secretly invited guinea pigs. But what comes next?

Watch this space.

'Thanks ever so much for Morb's viewing of Martyrs last night, I'd never normally pick out a movie like that to watch myself and enjoyed that I could share the experience of the night you arranged with so many others!!! Hope you enjoyed it too Can't wait for the next one, be it the directors cut of Martyrs or care bears.'

'What a brilliant night and idea in general. Secret locations and films! Loads of random faces enjoying art.'



' I'd say the director knows his Sontag.
"with a look on his upturned face as ecstatic as that of any Italian Renaissance Saint Sebastian'.

'Never has being skinned alive seemed so sexy! '



PUTRID DUNNE

THISISPOBABY Summer Lovin

Soooo its been 4 months since my last post! Oooops I can only blame it on my hectic schedule..... Seriously though it was an amazing summer and below are some of pictures of the fun myself and Alan had with THISISPOPBAY at Electric Picnic and their whopper Night WERK - Performance. Art. Club.






At Electric Picnic we were working as hostesses in the THISISPOPBABY tent.After working with the guys last year and having major fun I thought I would be very well behaved this year Oooooopsy!We had an amazing time and got to meet and party with some of the funnest people from here and the U.K. Highlights of the weekend included Philip McMahon saving my life as I tried to mount an invisible ladder (from the top of a podium) and several hours hiding in a portacabin loo avoiding the rain with Skinni Colin :-)




We were asked to do a small performance Installation later in the summer (well October but the weather was still lovely)at WERK the theme for this run was Fat Of The Land. I dressed well I should say undressed to my boxers and wore a homemade pope hat with a McDonalds logo on it. Alan was just in leggings and added to his slenderness by highlighting his bones with eyeshadow. I wanted lots and lots of fast food for the piece but obviously didn't want to spend a months Dole in McDonalds so I went over on the Saturday with a blacksack and gently approached people as they finished their meals and asked them for their rubbish - I told them it was for an art project so I didn't seem too crazy. After cooking up an awful lot of Burgers and Chips at home the piece consisted of me using the chips as holy communion but instead of putting it in Alan's mouth I chewed it up and spit it out on him. There was no huge meaning behind this except the fact that the likes of the Catholic church and McDonalds are so rich while half the world starves (other fun moments included eating raw potatoes and general Blasphemy)




For the second night of WERK Fat Of The Land I wanted to do somthing Bank related. We both dressed as bankers or "wankers" from the bank of Wank. when the lights were on we just went about our general bank duties - counting money,answering the phones but when the lights went off we had a strobe light and a uv light ( its hard to see in the pics ) and we wore flouresent afro wigs and went a little bit crazy cuting up money and chewing it up and spitting it out.Again we obviously didnt use real money - I made myself out to be crazy again that saturday by going into an internet cafe and scanning in a €20 note and colour printing up over a hundred of them!again the art project excuse worked a treat :-)( highlights of this night included a lady asking us if she could withdraw cash from us - no lie she thought we were an ATM service! A man in front at the bar trying to pay for his drink with our fake money and also a randomer who was not at WERK in the que in Burger King trying to pay using our fake money too and an amazing projection on the wall by Fionn Kidney )

THIS POST WAS NOT SPONSERED BY McDONALDS
FanciSchmancy

Mind Your Pees And Boos

In San Francisco there once lived a dog named Osis. So beloved by the couple who owned him, they left him behind with strangers. This beast became the bane of my life when some friends and I 'house sat' his owners' place of residence for a summer, for next to no money on the basis we also sat Osis. Sat...sounds so similar to the past tense of the monster's favourite pastime. Fitting.

The creature hated me.

I also wrestled him for a sandwich but that's neither here nor there.

On sunny days I would take him on walks, where he would beshit the pavements in front of occupied gardens as the occupiers looked on, stop and beshit the driveway entrances JUST as cars were about to turn in, the drivers having to pause as he did his dirty business, with me looking fawn-like into their windscreens. Once, I was so mortified, I pulled his lead, attempting to drag him away before he could settle in for a good crap, leaving an Autumn brown skid mark stretching allllll the way across the property of the lady who stood witness to his and, vicariously, my gypsy like depravity. He even beshit a plate which was then used for a game of Dares, but that at least was useful.

When not beshitting, he was also quite vicious, but only if provoked. Which I inadvertently did one night with hilarious consequences.




It was quite late of a Tuesday and my three co-sitters were all sleeping in the bedroom of the bungalow, two in the bed, one on the floor in a sleeping bag, Osis beside. Bored of watching tv, I had the marvellous idea of taking a large carving knife from the kitchen, sneaking around the back of the house to said bedroom and as it was a hot night and windows were justifiably left open, sticking the knife into also said window and waving my arm about wildly whilst screaming. As you do. No big deal.

The place erupted.

All three launched into screams, running around the room bumping into things in the blackness, the melee as similar in reaction, I would hazard a guess, as if a rancid wet fart exploded in a sauna darkroom. One of the girls for some bizarre reason decided to jump up and down on the bed to relieve the horror. Osis, seeing her pale Irish face jiggling in the gloom, must have mistook it for a sandwich, much like the one I had wrestled him for the preceding week and decided to retrieve it with his teeth.

Feck.

Fortunately, the Irish skin, hardened and almost calcified by years of rain and potato, withstood this invading American maw and survived intact, unlike my co-sitters senses of humour. 'I was so terrified I was going to kill myself', said one. Well that TOTALLY defeats the purpose of home invasion.

Anyway, onto jokes gone wrong -




Definite Mensa member Megan Fry was killed by 14 state troopers after she wandered onto a live firing 'faketown' simulation. Seeing all the troopers walking slowly down the street, Megan jumped out in front of them and yelled 'Boo!'
You know where this is going. The troopers, thinking she was a pop up target, fired 67 shots between them,over 40 of them hitting the long lost sister of Einstein. 'She just looked like a very real looking target', one of the troopers stated in his report.




Oftentimes when asked to give a speech at the weddings of dear friends, I like to shake it up a bit by taking out my gun and inviting other revellers to play Russian Roulette. Honestly, it's so hot right now. In what may be the worst wedding toast of all time, in March of this year a 33 year old Chechen man produced a shooter and after firing an empty chamber into his own head, believing the gun to be bulletless he then offered it to another guest who was severely wounded after finding the one rubber bullet that somehow found its way inside. Thankfully the man wasn't left as totally brainless as the instigator who was then arrested. Good luck to the DJ topping that with a rendition of Sweet Caroline. Raging.


So remember, this Halloween, have fun, trick or treat, delve deep into spooky Celtic ritual, embrace fear and the paranormal, read in the Herald about scummers putting bangers up cat's arses, watch Hocus Pocus for the 42nd time and still disapprove when they bring up the main teenager being a virgin repeatedly in a children's movie but keep your head, Ichabod. If you see someone holding an axe pre-tree chop, a paramedic about to administer the defibrillator or a fire breather mid exhale, don't think 'Jayzis, wouldn't it be only gas if I grabbed him by the shoulder and said help the Halloween party'.

Adieu ghouls.




PUTRID DUNNE

Won't Somebody Think Of The Children

For your perusal - please find below the film I made with the glorious Glass Doll Productions.

It recently came second in the Pride Short Film Competition.

PUTRID DUNNE

The Mask

Some pretty amazing Photographs of Alan Delmar on my balcony on a cold,wet summers morning!



FanciSchmancy